Love Beyond Conflict

When Conflict Starts to Feel Like the Enemy

Most couples don’t struggle because they don’t love each other. They struggle because conflict escalates faster than they know how to slow it down.

If you’ve ever thought:

• “Why do we keep fighting about the same things?”

• “How did something small turn into something so big?”

• “Why do we feel further apart after an argument instead of closer?”

Love Beyond Conflict was written for you.

This book offers a compassionate, practical guide to understanding why conflict happens — and how to move through it without damaging your connection.

Look Inside

Learn how your body and mind respond to relationship conflict

Learn how to interrupt the cycle of escalation

Learn the communication patterns that sabotage your relationship

An effective blueprint that rebuilds and restores trust

Love Beyond Conflict by Troy C. Wilson is wonderfully written and provides a wealth of information from Troy's experience that can help save many relationships from unnecessary breakups.

Frank Mutuma of Readers Favorite

★★★★★

★★★★★

This powerful book shows you how to foster a deeper understanding of one another's needs, desires, and expectations.

Emma Megan

What Makes Love Beyond Conflict Different

This is not a book that tells you to “just communicate better.”

Instead, Love Beyond Conflict helps you understand:

• How your brain and nervous system respond to relationship threat

• Why past experiences and attachment patterns shape present reactions

• How common conflict patterns silently drive escalation

• Why repair matters more than winning an argument

• How conflict, when handled well, can actually deepen intimacy

Grounded in real clinical experience and backed by relationship science, this book bridges psychology, attachment theory, neuroscience, and lived relationship realities

Who This Book Is For

This book is ideal for:

• Couples stuck in recurring arguments

• Partners who avoid conflict because it feels unsafe

• Long-term relationships that feel disconnected after disagreements

• New couples wanting to build healthy conflict habits early

• Anyone who believes their relationship is worth fighting for, not fighting in

Whether you’re dating, married, or in a long-term committed relationship, the principles in this book apply.

Backed by Science, Grounded in Compassion

The book references and integrates insights from leading relationship experts such as John Gottman

and Sue Johnson, while remaining accessible, practical, and deeply human .

Just as importantly, it recognises this truth:

Information alone doesn’t heal relationships.

Understanding paired with compassion does.

Love Beyond Conflict draws on decades of research in:

• Attachment theory

• Interpersonal neurobiology

• Relationship psychology

• Conflict repair and emotional regulation

Inside the Book: What You’ll Learn

In Love Beyond Conflict, you’ll discover:

• Why conflict feels so intense — and what your nervous system is trying to protect

• The four conflict patterns that predict relationship breakdown (and how to interrupt them)

• How to recognise triggers and emotional responses before they take over

• Practical ways to repair after conflict, rebuild trust, and reconnect

• How to turn disagreement into a pathway for growth rather than distance

You won’t find idealised advice or unrealistic expectations here.

Everything in this book is designed for real relationships, real emotions, and real life.

Common Conflict Patterns Explained

Many couples are relieved to learn that their struggles follow predictable patterns, including:

The Pursuer–Withdrawer cycle

The Exploder–Suppressor dynamic

The Fixer–Feeler mismatch

These patterns are not character flaws.

They are adaptive responses shaped by history, attachment, and stress.

Once couples recognise their pattern, blame softens — and change becomes possible.

A Note from the Author

As a marriage and couples counsellor, I’ve worked with hundreds of couples who believed conflict meant something was wrong with their relationship.

Again and again, I’ve seen the opposite.

The couples who thrive aren’t conflict-free — they’re conflict-wise.

My hope is that Love Beyond Conflict becomes a companion you return to during both difficult and hopeful moments, helping you move through disagreement with courage, clarity, and care.

— Troy C. Wilson

FAQs

Is Love Beyond Conflict a self-help book or a therapy book?

Love Beyond Conflict is a practical, research-informed relationship guide written by a marriage and couples counsellor. It is not therapy, but it draws on real clinical experience and relationship science to help readers better understand conflict, emotional triggers, and repair.

Who is this book for?

Does this book help with serious relationship issues?

What makes this book different from other relationship books?

Do both partners need to read the book?

The book is designed to help with common and painful conflict patterns. However, if there is ongoing abuse, coercive control, or unresolved trauma, professional support is strongly recommended alongside reading.

No. While many couples read the book together, it can be equally valuable if only one partner reads it. Understanding your own conflict responses often leads to meaningful change in the relationship dynamic.

This book is for couples and individuals who want healthier ways to navigate disagreement. It’s especially helpful if arguments escalate quickly, repeat often, or leave emotional distance behind. It’s suitable for dating, married, and long-term relationships.

Rather than offering scripts or surface-level communication tips, this book focuses on what’s happening beneath conflict — including nervous system responses, attachment patterns, and emotional triggers. This deeper understanding helps couples create lasting change, not just temporary fixes.

Is this book about avoiding conflict?

Not at all. Conflict is a normal and healthy part of close relationships. Love Beyond Conflict helps you understand how to move through conflict safely and constructively, rather than avoiding it or letting it cause damage.